|
|
Cooler
Greetings, everyone! After a long hiatus (and some strenuous contract negotiations), we have finally returned for more Villain Interviews!
Humph. "Strenuous negotiations." This big baby couldn't take the show anymore and they had to beg him to stay because they couldn't find a replacement very easily. So what's he do? He makes all these requirements about the show not being weird any more, and him getting more money,and a whole bunch 'a hooey like that or he'd up and leave.
That's right, and I mean it, too! I'm tired of us never being taken seriously and the studio getting trashed on a regular basis and everything that goes on with this show. And if any of that happens, even one little thing, I will quit!
*muttering* Promises, promises.
*dangerously* What?
I didn't say nuthin', you upstart.
Good. *going back to cheerful voice* With that out of the way, let's bring out today's guest, shall we? Welcome, Cooler!
Good afternoon, Jonathon.
*eyes wide*...
*small whimper*
Guys?
*shakes head* Kids today.
*sweating* I-is there a-a-a problem?
*screaming* No! No, I got my contract, things like this weren't supposed to happen! I can't take it, I just can't take it!!!
Listen, Freeza, if yer gonna try and fill in for your brother, at least do a good job on the costuming. What is that, spraypaint and lipstick?
*sniffles and starts bawling* I told you, Niichan! I told you this wasn't gonna work! And you made me come out here and everything and get all dressed up. Why can't you do your own dumb interview?
*suddenly materializing on stage* Oh shut up, you wuss! It would have worked if you hadn't done such a crap job on looking like me. *punches Freeza*
*crying* Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy???????????????
*wailing* Why are you always hitting meeeee? You always beat me up, and then when Dad gets mad at you, you just beat me up again! It's not fair, it's not faaaaaiiiiirrrr!!!!!
*snort* Babies. Both of 'ya.
You're telling me. Mom always did like him best. S'why he turned into such a friggin' wuss. *punches Freeza again*
*wails louder*
THAT'S IT! I QUIT! I QUIT, I QUIT, I QUIT, I QUIT!!! Maybe Zaggy will switch with me and I can go work on the awards page! *storms off*
...
...
*stops wailing* ...He gone?
Yeah.
Good job, boys! That pansy was too weak for this show, anyway. Here's the $50 I owe you. *hands money to Cooler*
Ahem.
*grumbles* Right, right. Each. *forks over some cash to Freeza*
Been a pleasure doing business with you. And hey, if you ever wanna do a real interview, I'm open.
I think I'll take you up on that. Bye, boys!
C'mon, Freeza. Let's go. *punches him in the arm and walks off*
*following and rubbing arm* Ooooooowww! Stop hitting me! I'm telling Mom on you!!
*snorts* Baby.
© 2001 Pamela Sawyer, trunksette@hotmail.com