Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)
Lyrics by Van Halen
Scenes by Pam Sawyer

Well, way down yonder in Louisville,
Lived a cat named Big Bad Bill,
<Vegeta stands outside a building, scowling at everyone who passes>
I wants to tell ‘ya,
Ah the cat was rough and tough and would strut his stuff
<Vegeta walks down the street, beating up on random people>
Had the whole town scared to death,
When he walked by they all held their breath,
<Mothers hurry their children past the frightening man, and he smiles viciously at them>
He's a fighting man, sure enough

But then Bill got himself a wife,
<Vegeta is about to beat yet another person up, then spots a woman across the street. Suddenly fireworks go off>
Now he leads a different life...

Big Bad Bill is sweet William now,
<Vegeta goes out shopping with Bulma, gladly carrying her bags>
Married life done changed him somehow,
He's the man the town used to fear,
<Those same mothers who hurried their children past him now smile sweetly at Vegeta and go about their way>
Now they all call him sweet papa Willie dear,
Stronger than Samson I declare,
<Vegeta lifts up the couch to retrieve one of Bulma’s lost earrings>
‘Til a brown skinned woman,
Bobbed his hair

Big Bad Bill don’t fight any more, (No he don’t)
<Vegeta declines when Goku asks him if he wants to go cause trouble, saying he has to finish his chores>
He’s doing the dishes, mopping up that floor (Yes he is)
Well he used to go out drinking,
Looking for a fight,
Now he gotta see that woman every night,
<He thinks back to the old days, then continues mopping, thinking instead towards the evening with a smile>
Big Bad Bill is sweet William now

Big Bad Bill don’t fight any more, (No he don’t)
<Vegeta punts Goku into space when he comes around again, telling him to listen to the freakin’ lyrics>
He’s doing the dishes, mopping up that floor (Yes he is)
Well he used to go out drinking,
Looking for a fight,
Now he gotta see that woman, every night,
<Finally, he’s done mopping, Bulma’s done picking up, and the kids are in bed>

Big Bad Bill is sweet William now (doing the dishes)
<They head to the bedroom and lock the door.>
Big Bad Bill is sweet William now (moppin’ up ‘dat floor)
<The lights go off, cloth rustles…>
Big Bad Bill is sweet William now
<…and only Bulma knows just how sweet he is>

END