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The day seemed like any other day...The sun was shining, birds singing, and people walking merrily along in SatanCity...But THIS day was NOT like any other,..it was, in fact, a VERY important day for a certain pointy-hared saiya-jin...For, you see, it was the saiya-jin's Bachelor Party!!!...
The feastivities were taking place in the wonderful BOOM-BOOM ROOM dance club, which features some VERY exotic dancers,..AND HARD LIQUOR!!!...
"Um...What are we doing here, again?!!..." Goku questioned his son, staring blankly at the neon sign declaring proudly to all who would see,.."BOOM-BOOM ROOM!!!..." and "GIRLS,..GIRLS,..GIRLS!!!..."
"I believe you were saying something about, 'birds and bees'...But I REALLY don't see anything, even remotely, related here!" Gohan tried to see through the paint-covered windows of the BOOM-BOOM ROOM.
"Just go inside, you morons!" Shouted one of the bouncers who was busying himself with a cigarette.
Meanwhile, Vejita was sitting at one of the tables, close to the main dance stage, sipping at one of the many exotic drinks served at the BOOM-BOOM ROOM. He gritted his teeth and drummed his fingers on the shiny, black surface of the table while waiting for Goku and the others. He didn't have to wait TOO much longer before Goku, being lead by the gawking Gohan, came stubbling in bearing a facial expression that clearly resembled a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck.
"Took you long enough!" Growled Vejita still facing the empty stage, his back turned toward the pair.
"Uh,..sorry, Vejita. I hope we're not too late!" Goku said.
Muten Roshi smiled wide at the pair from the next table, "No, son. You're just in time! Sit down and have a drink, you too Gohan!..Waitress!"
Roshi flagged down the young waitress who was wearing a tight, black mini-skirt and a tight, white shirt that appeared to be, at least, three sizes too small for her. And proceeded to order Goku and Gohan two large frozen margaritas, apiece. The waitress nodded and turned to leave, Roshi reached over a patted her on the rump as she left. Goku started to comment on Roshi's gross misconduct, but was stopped by the enterance of Tenshinhan and Choazu, practically being drug by an over eager, Yamcha. These three were followed by a wide-eyed Krillin.
"Slow DOWN, Yamcha!.." Tenshinhan sighed as he jogged after the overly excited Yamcha.
The four new-comers found their seats at the table to the right of Vejita and, also, ordered drinks from the long list of the BOOM-BOOM.
Meanwhile, the so-called, Bachelorette Party was underway.
"This is REALLY BORING!!!..." Cried the 'Lucky Lady,' "There has GOT to be a better way to have fun!!!"
Rather unceremoniously, the others agreed, even Chi-chi who, to the other's amazement, suggested their next stop. Although the surprise didn’t hit until they had arrived at the place.
"I know this nice little place over in SatanCity. It's not too far, we could be there in less that ten minutes if we left now."
When they got there the service was excellent, after all, one expects no less that excellent service at a place called, The Stud Muffin!..
"Ummm,..you come here OFTEN, Chi-chi?.."
"Oh no!..Just once or twice,..a week." Chi-chi said as the waiter, wearing little more than a good tan, greeted her by name.
"Your usual table, Ms. Chi-chi?" He asked with an, all too, warm smile.
"Oh. No, Bruce. We'd like to rent the party room." Chi-chi returned the smile.
Back at the BOOM-BOOM ROOM, the warriors were getting quite toasted. They were, now, breaking into their third round of "Open Up Your Eyes" (Tonic), when Yamcha wondered, out-loud, where the girls were. This, of course, caught on and, by the time the first chorus was about to begin, the whole group of warriors was shouting for the girls to come out. All except for Goku, who was at the bar attempting to discuss the Theory of Relativity in slurred words with the bartender. And Roshi who was trying to wave down the waitress for more rump-fondling and another round of Long Island Ice Teas, since Goku realized (after his fourth) that margaritas had alcohol in them, and Roshi convinced him to drink ONLY ICED TEA.
"What th'hell IS all of that NOISE!!!..." The 'Bride-to-Be' snarled at the wall where a chorus of "GIRLS!..GIRLS!..GIRLS!..BRING OUT THE GIRLS!.." was steadily mounting in volume.
"I'm terribly sorry,..there's another club next door. I'll call them and ask them what the problem is." Bruce told her.
"Tell them to hold it down or I'll crack their skulls!" She hissed back.
"Yes, ma'am." Bruce turned and left, his tight, tanned buttocks practically gleaming in his tiny g-string under the dim lights.
"YEAH!!!..." The warriors roared out in unison as the show began. Another round, this time straight-shot vodka, was called for.
A young, pale girl took the center stage. What she wore resembled large, black fish net with a large black leather shirt collar, a black leather bra, and a black leather g-string with a large, glimmering zipper on the front. The girl held what looked, at first, like a human femur with several small, thin pieces of black leather,..a whip. As the scantily clad girl walked with feline elegance across the stage to a large brass pole, the volume of the warriors’ shouts increased from a dull roar to a large explosion of sounds.
"YEAH, BABY!..Take it ALL off!!!…" shouted Gohan from on top of the table, then promptly fell backwards and passed out from too much liquor.
"Hey, Girl!" Vejita called to the waitress, barely taking his eyes off of the semi-nude girl on the stage in front of him who was twisting her body in erotic movements around the brass pole.
The waitress eyed Roshi to make sure he wasn’t about to rush over and grab her bottom, again. Then she walked over to the saiya-jin’s table.
"Yeah?.." She asked half-heartily, while keeping an eye on the dirty, old man to Vejita’s left.
"Dry martini," Vejita barked at her.
"Sure."
"Shaken. Not stirred," he ordered, even though his face was beginning to feel warm. His head, for that matter, was almost beyond feeling. And his body was all but numb, although he couldn’t imagine why. The multiple combinations of cheap liquor, enough to kill, nearly, an entire herd of elephants, never came into mind as the culprit. His attention, suddenly, returned to the pale girl in the tiny scraps of black leather in front of him. After a few minutes, Vejita pulled out an enormous wad of bills and waved them at the girl.
A smile curled itself around her dark, ruby lips as she strode towards the expectant Vejita. She moved her body in soft, measured, seductive strides until she was in front of, but still on the stage. Vejita growled at her, seeming, inability to leave the raised, black, polished surface. He wanted her closer, and he was beginning to get angry at her constantly being out of reach. He was just about to get up or blast the stage or SOMETHING. When one of the BOOM-BOOM ROOM’s bouncers walked over.
"Hey, buddy. You want a lap-dance or what?.."
Vejita glanced back at the girl, so close,..so,..pretty,..so,..little clothing!..She smiled at the saiya-jin and snapped her whip. Then she walked back to the pole and curled one, long, perfect, pale leg around it, sliding down the slick metallic surface, slowly,..slowly,..slowly,..into a semi-split.
"That’s right! I DO!.." Vejita told the bull-necked man through a large grin and closed teeth. His eyes snapped back, expectantly, at the girl. But, his gaze was, slightly, bleary and he was feeling extremely warm, and he could’ve sworn this dark, hazy place had been cooler when he first came in.
Roshi, having for the moment given up on the brunette waitress with the tight, black skirt("I swear, you can see her panties," Yamcha pointed at the tiny skirt…) was rummaging around for some extra money, other than the huge pile in the center for the bar tab.
"Here. I’d like the same, my good man!" Caroled Yamcha, his cheeks were beginning to acquire a reddish glow, as he handed Roshi some extra cash. "And my good friend here would, also, like that!"
"Yeah, if you’re sure the old geezer can handle it!.." The bouncer grinned at the pair, Yamcha had his arm around Roshi’s shoulders and they were making a toast,..to the girls!..
Vejita missed the entire show choosing to, instead, stare at the semi-clad, pale dancer as she snapped her bone/black leather whip. Somehow, he seemed to be fixated on the loud—SNAP--of the strings of black leather in the air. How strange she looked in the black leather, how malevolent, how graceful her movements were,..her thin, fit body, her graceful movements, the elegant way she turned her head to look at the man who took his money the way she returned his nod with one of her own, even the way she walked across the stage towards him.
"Ah! The sly little vixen,..how she taunts," he muttered under his breath as she drew closer to the edge of the stage. "Why don’t you come and play?.."
She pointed at him,..nodded her response, again, and, suddenly… She, practically, flew off the stage, landing in front of the startled saiya-jin. She smiled, once more the blood-colored lips curled upward. This time, though, they parted showing him a dazzling display a bright, white and two, extremely, sharp canines peeked out, further than the others.
"Hi there," the voice was throaty, soft, yet, with a hard edge to it.
"Shut up and dance," Vejita growled, grinning the entire time.
The girl’s eyes widened for an instant and, for an instant, recognition appeared in her sharp eyes, but it only lasted a brief moment, before disappearing. Unfortunately, that sharp-toothed smile had faded at his harsh words, and he was almost sorry that it was gone. Her nimble form moved in slow, seductive movements and caught his attention, kept his mind from wandering further.
"That’s IT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She was fed up with the constant waves of near-deafening shouts, which had continued well after, three phone calls and two promises to bring the loud boom to a dull roar, again.
But, that was ABSOLUTELY IT!..She snarled, her ki power building at an exponential rate. Then, she let loose an enormous blast that took out the adjoining wall between the clubs. Mrs. Briefs looked at Chikara, "My dear! Was that REALLY necessary?"
"Yep. And it felt damn good!" Chikara smiled, until she saw what was on the other side of the wall she had just demolished.
Staring at Chikara from inside the BOOM-BOOM ROOM was a stunned Tenshinhan, his wide eyes accounting for, nearly, three-quarters of his shocked face. Chikara looked down, a wicked grin flashed across her face. Mrs. Briefs was as stunned as Tenshinhan as she stared at him. Chi-chi started to laugh. Ten, suddenly, snapped out of his stupor, he quickly turned around, zipped his fly and flushed the urinal he had just used. When he turned around, again, his face was noticeably flushed.
"All right!.." Chikara snarled viciously snatching up Ten by the collar, "Where IS he?! Where’s Vejita!?!"
Ten gagged, tried to breathe, but found it, nearly, impossible. He pointed at the door of the restroom. Chikara dropped him and headed toward the door. Ten gasped for breath, then decided that THIS would be an opportune time to tell Choazu and the others that they should all depart, immediately. However, he was beginning to see the difficulty in doing just that as Chikara exited by throwing the door of the restroom across the club in a single, swift hand movement.
Vejita was feeling quite fabulous at the moment the restroom door decided to take its flying lesson, nearly killing one of the club’s bouncers in its flight. In fact, Vejita was quite positive that the gorgeous, little thing dancing in his lap wanted more from than just this silly, taunting game,..she wanted him, as did all of them. They all wanted him, the magnificent, aristocratic prince of all Saiya-jin. He knew that they knew that he was more, better, than the rest of the buffoons around him. They knew that he was royalty, and they wanted to have him because of it.
The pale girl sat up, her legs were, still, straddling the hard muscles of the drunk prince. Chikara was walking toward Vejita and the other warriors, seemingly calm, despite a vicious snarl that drew her lips, tight, cross her ivory teeth. The girl’s eyes widened as she looked down at Vejita who seemed oblivious of the surrounding turmoil. Instead, he ran a single, white gloved hand up her, fairly, nude thigh. The touch made the pale girl grow, increasingly, paler and she tried to jump up. But, she underestimated his reflects, Vejita’s hands slid around he waist, keeping her in place.
Chikara’s eyes took only a few seconds to adjust to the dim lighting of the interior of the BOOM-BOOM ROOM. But, after a few seconds, she was thoroughly pissed. She, immediately, saw Muten Roshi and Yamcha drooling over a pair of scantily-clad women who had decided to get up close and personal with the audience. She, also, noticed Gohan, again up on his table-top perch, shouting at the half-clad women on the stage, and Goku who was arm-wrestling one of the bouncers with the less than appealing results of the bouncer’s arm being bent, backwards. And she saw Vejita, his arms around the waist of an extremely pale, wide-eyed, whip carrying, bimbo who looked incredibly familiar to the Saiya-jin woman.
Chikara’s ki skyrocketed, her eyes narrowed and flared green. Her hair flew wildly about her face, before settling in large, gold spikes. The pale girl was now, quite obviously, fidgeting. The other warriors were too incredibly shocked to clear out. And Chikara was headed straight toward her husband-to-be with her hands clasp into fists, her teeth bared, and a deep growling sound was coming from her throat.
"I think, I should be going,..NOW!!!" The pale girl hissed at Vejita, while trying to, casually, pry his hands from around her waist.
"Now, now," Vejita’s hands tightened their grip causing her to gasp, suddenly, "What’s your HURRY!.." His grip tightened, more, and she gasped, again.
"Let me go!.." She managed a soft whisper.
"I think not," Vejita purred at her, "And what ARE you going on about, anyway?"
The girl’s eyes darted back to Chikara’s face. The Saiya-jin woman’s eyes were blaring and bolts of lightning were flashing around her.
The girl gulped, "Come ON!.." She hissed at her captor, "I’m kinda in a new relationship, here. I’d LIKE to see whether or not it works out!.."
The Saiya-jin prince looked, momentarily, confused at the girl’s words. Then he began to laugh.
"Well, I don’t think you should worry about Chikara. After all, she can’t see me, now. No one can!..Ah-hahaha!.."
Chikara was well within hearing range, and she stopped, also confused, momentarily. The pale girl’s eyes only widened more. She slowly let her head slide down, into one of her hands, propped up by an elbow on Vejita’s thigh.
"Great. I’m dead," She sighed.
"VEJITA!..What th’HELL are you DOING!!!…" Chikara snarled at him.
"Huh?..Who told you, that I’m here. You can’t see me, I’m invisible!..AH-HAHAHA!!!…" Vejita laughed in Chikara’s face, further, pissing her off.
"Yep. I’m a walking corpse, now!." The girl muttered under her breath.
"Shut UP!!!…" Barked Chikara, although which one she wanted to shut up, was as much a mystery to her as it was to them.
"What?..Me?!…" Vejita asked defensively.
"YES!.." Chikara shrieked back.
"Humph. Well, you can’t make me, I’m invincible." Vejita puffed on his chest, nearly, dumping the girl in his lap in the process.
"Um,..don’t you mean, invisible!?!.." The girl offered, helpfully.
"And who asked, YOU?.." Vejita returned viciously, "I SAID, "INVINCIBLE" and DAMN IT, I mean, INVINCIBLE!"
"Oh!..Is that SO!?!…" Chikara gritted her teeth, "Then this won’t hurt you!.."
Chikara, suddenly, threw an enormous ball of ki energy at Vejita’s head. He threw the pale girl behind him and deflected the energy ball, laughing.
"See, I told you, "I’m invincible!!!"…AH-HAHAHA!!!"
The pale girl, realizing that this might be her only chance at escape, ducked behind Vejita, out of his sight.
"Now, I, Vejita Oji-sama shall show YOU my TRUE power!!!…AH-HAHAHA!!!…" Vejita began to power up, increasing his power level to Super Saiya-jin level two, all the while, laughing maniacally.
"Oh!..Shit!.." The pale girl muttered, trying to scrabble away from the two saiya-jin warriors.
The loud duel ki-blast carried across the planet,..or at least, it WOULD have,..if it hadn’t destroyed everything so quickly.
Kiao–sama was enjoying the sun on his tiny world. He had just washed his car, and the chrome was gleaming as bright as the sun itself. Bubbles was playing in the trees, chattering incessantly. He was just about to eat lunch, when out of the blue, he saw two green forms.
"What are you DOING to my CAR!?!…" Kaio-sama yelled at the two vandals who were spray-painting, "Legalize It" with a picture of a pot leaf to the side of his clean car.
Dende looked at his friend, mentor and boss, Piccolo-san, "Do you think we’ve missed a spot?"
"Just keep sprayin’, mon!.." Piccolo-san huffed in response to the stupid question.
"I SAID, "cut it out!"" Kaio-sama yelled at Dende and Piccolo-san.
"An’ how am I going to get me some new clients, if I don’ advertise, mon?.." Piccolo-san growled at Kiao-sama.
"Not on the CLEAN CAR, you idiots!.." Kiao-sama cried back.
"One more comment like that, mon!.." Piccolo-san warned, "Nobody messes with de GreenMan!"
"Look, sorry, Piccolo-san! But I spent my ENTIRE morning washing it!" Kaio-sama whined at the Nameksei-jin.
"Not true, mon! Look at all de food you got der! An’ you don’ even offer us anyt’ing, mon!" Piccolo-san shrugged off Kaio-sama’s words and continued on the car.
"Uh,..would you like anything, Piccolo-san?..Dende?.." Kaio-sama asked hesitantly.
"No t’anks, mon. I got work to do!" Piccolo-san waved his hand without looking back at the short, blue man.
"Uh,..yeah. Right, what Piccolo-san says…" Dende looked at Kaio-sama with a somewhat pleading look, before continuing his painting of Kaio-sama’s car.
Kaio-sama sighed turned away and was about to go back inside, when suddenly, he noticed a shape flying toward his planet at high-speed. Or, at least, it was trying to fly toward his planet,..he thought. The dot flew quickly to the right of Snake Way, then swerved, precariously, to the left. The, obviously, drunken flight continued for several seconds with Kaio-sama unsure as to whether or not the drunk warrior was going to dive into Snake Way several times. Kaio-sama was still stunned when the warrior, finally, did crash,..two feet in front of him.
"Ah-hahaha!..I’m still INVINCIBLE!..I crashed and I got up and walked away,..see, I’m invincible,..SEE!" Vejita laughed loudly in Kaio-sama’s face, blasting him with a powerful wave of stale alcohol scent. Then he proceeded to stumble several steps, turn back around to face Kaio-sama and grinned broadly.
Kaio-sama coughed and waved his hand in front of his face, trying to clear the air.
"Great, you must be one of those ‘mean drunks,’ Vejita! And here, have a Tic-Tac!.." He handed the, slightly, confused saiya-jin a small, white mint.
"What?.." Vejita stared at the mint. After a few seconds he sniffed at it and tossed it down him throat, swallowing it whole.
"What are you doin’ here, anyway, mon?" Piccolo-san questioned the saiya-jin.
A loud scream ripped through the air at, nearly, the exact time Vejita opened his mouth. The Nameksei-jin and Kaio-sama turned back toward Snake Way only to see Chikara coming straight toward them without slowing in the least.
"AH! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, VEJITA!!!…" Chikara screamed at the top of her lungs just before she plowed into the saiya-jin prince at full-speed.
"Um,..judging by de rings over your heads, mon,..I’d say you’re too late!" Piccolo-san shrugged and turned back to spray another "Legalize It."
Chikara stopped beating her husband and looked up, out of the large, gapping hole that Vejita was ground into.
"Nani?..What rings?" Chikara jumped out of the hole, flailing her heads above her head as if to fan away the ring, "I swear, if YOU DESTROYED THE PLANET, VEJITA!!!…"
Suddenly, Tenshinhan, Krillin, Chaozu and Yamcha all showed up, each one was carrying a different friend. Krillin was carrying a deeply philosophical Goku. Chaozu was carrying a drunken, prone Gohan. Ten was attempting to carry the shrieking, half-mad, flailing Chi-chi. While Yamcha was trying to balance Roshi and the BOOM-BOOM ROOM’s waitress. Roshi, meanwhile, was fondling the scared girl while she slapped him, repeatedly, in the head.
"What HAPPENED?" Dende asked horrified to see so many people with rings.
Vejita groaned and twitched inside of his hole, but made no move to climb out. Chikara, meanwhile, was coming to her senses.
"Wait a minute!..Trunks!..Where’s Trunks!?!…Has anyone seen Trunks,..or Dr. and Mrs. Briefs?!!…" A wild look flashed across her features.
"We’ll go look for them!.." Ten, Krillin and Chaozu offered. Yamcha was busy trying to make moves on the waitress as she and Roshi tried to deal with the increased gravity.
"Hurry, find them quickly!" Chikara told the warriors.
The warriors were about to take off, when Murai Trunks, joined them.
"I don’t get it!..Aren’t you supposed to be back in your time?"
"Nevermind!..What happened?..Where’s my Mother?..Where’s my Father?.." Murai looked around wide-eyed and worried.
"I’m right here!..The Pickled Vegetable’s in a hole over there," Chikara jammed a thumb towards the pit where Vejita still lay, groaning.
"Huh?.." Murai just stared at Chikara.
"So, what exactly DID happen?" Kaio-sama asked, again.
"You better help them find my son!" Chikara growled, before any lengthy explanation could start.
The warriors all looked at Chikara and nodded agreement. They were about to fly off when the ecstatic voice of Chi-chi rose into the air.
"Where’s Goten?!!…"
"Um,..we’re about to go find Goten and Trunks." Krillin offered helpfully.
"NANI!?!…Do you mean to tell me that BOTH MY HUSBAND AND MY OLDEST SON ARE DRUNK AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE MY YOUNGEST SON IS!?!…" Chi-chi ran over and grabbed Krillin by the front of his gee. She hit him in the head as hard as she could several times and shook him by the front of his gee. Ten and Choazu just stared, amazed at ease she seemed to master the increased gravity. But after only a few, short, seconds, the gravity did catch up with her, and Chi-chi flopped back down on the ground.
"Na,..Nani?" Murai choked out, looking up into the sky.
Something was headed toward the planet,..something big. The others looked up and gawked. The huge, black dot had grown, already, and had split into a large central dot and two smaller dots. And then they were able to make out what it was that was flying toward them. Chibi-Trunks and Chibi-Goten were laughing and flying in zigzags around the Oxking who has being half-flown, half-drug by an extremely pale girl in a black cloak.
"Yeah! It’s Kai!!!" Murai cried out and waved.
"Who?" Shouted Chikara for she already recognized the black-clad girl.
"Mother," Murai said happily , "Father,.." He looked at the hole, a small groan came from within it. "This is my new girlfriend, Kai!" He smiled and flushed as Kai lowered Oxking and then touched down.
"GIRLFRIEND?!!" Both Chikara gagged.
"Uhh!" Vejita staggered out of the hole and saw the dancing girl standing there. "Wha’IS D’IS?" He snarled, assuming personal attack.
"Trunks-chan,..your,..their your,..parents!?!!!!" The girl got even paler.
"I’LL TEACH YOU!!!" Chikara flew, screaming in Kai’s direction.
"Great! Bye Trunks-chan!" Kai shouted and flew around the planet with Chikara in hot pursuit.
Trunks scratched his head in wonderment,.. "Wha th’?"
"So, wher’i’she?!!" Vejita spoke in slurs to Murai. "I know I’m ‘round here somewhere, an’ she intends t’ find her!" He staggered over to Murai and leaned on him…
"NOW!!! WHERE’S TH’ DANCIN’ GIRL?!!" Vejita, suddenly, screamed out and passed out.
" ‘Dancing girl?!!’…KAI LANA!!!" Murai yelled at the tops of his lungs and followed his mother in pursuit of Kai around the planet.
"Hey! This is better ‘an cartoons!" Chibi Trunks said to Chibi Goten.
"Yeah! Your family’s funny!!!" Chibi Goten agreed.
"Oh GREAT, mon!!! Now we hafta put up wit’ dis for all eternity, mon!!!" Piccolo-san huffed and walked to the tree and sat down…Only to have Kai buzz him, and then Chikara went through the tree, and finally, Murai destroyed the rest of the tree with a sword swipe…
All of a sudden, another girl showed up looking completely lost.
"Urra-raa?!!" The girl looked around stupidly.
"MEGUMI?!!" Piccolo-san said stunned.
"Urra-raa?" Megumi replied.
"Hey! Dunn dat look a li’l like da waitress?..MORE TEA!!!" Gohan managed before passing out, again.
"WAITRESS?!!…What kinda WAITRESS are you talkin’ about, mon?" Piccolo-san growled.
"Um,..I work at the BOOM-BOOM ROOM?..Why?" Megumi shrugged.
"YOU!!!" Shrieked Chikara from the sky. "THIS IS PARTIALLY YOUR FAULT!!!"
"URRA-RAA?!!" Megumi cried and flew into the air next to Kai…
"HELP!!!" Both Megumi and Kai screamed as Chikara, MuraiTrunks AND Piccolo-san tore after them.
"HAHAHAHA!!!" Chibi Trunks and Goten shrieked and fell down, laughing…