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Freeza
Yes, folks, we're here today with Freeza, the person who destroyed Namecksei, killed Vegeta among many others, and personally triggered Son Goku's transformation to Super Saiya-jin.
Eh, enough of the freakin' introduction. Let's get to interviewin'!
Umm, right. Welcome to the page, Freeza.
Thanks, Jonathon. It's a pleasure to be here.
So, Freeza, is it true that you personally destroyed Vegetasei because the Saiya-jin were "annoying"?
Well, that is true in some respects, Jonathon. I did destroy Vegetasei, but I did not do it for that reason. As I explained to my aides, I destroyed it because the Saiya-jin were "eyesores," not annoying.
O-kaaaaay.... Well, uh, Freeza, tell us how you feel about the state of the world's economy today.
Personally, I think...
What kind of question is that? Get to the good stuff, boy, like what we've heard about you and a certain reportedly dead flower girl from Final Fantasy VII, nudge nudge, wink wink.
LIES! ALL LIES! Who told you? When I get my hands on whoever spilled the beans I swear I will gut them then roast their innards in their own juices!
So the rumors are true!
Well... yes. You see, Aeris and I are planning on getting married, but we wanted to keep it a secret until...
Hold it right there, Freeza!
*gasp* Son Gohan!
Oh my goodness, folks! It looks like Son Gohan has burst into the studio to challenge Freeza!
They can read it for themselves, you ninny.
I was surfing the 'Net and discovered you were still around, Freeza, so I've come to take you out once and for all.
Bring it on, Pansy-boy!
(Dust clouds fly as Gohan and Freeza fight. It looks like Freeza is gaining the upper hand until Gohan grabs his head and pulls. It comes off in his hand. Gohan looks down in horror only to discover it was a mask.)
*GASP!* Mr. Green!
You're the one who killed Kulilin and destroyed Namecksei in an effort to gather the dragon balls?
That's right. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Saiya-jin... and your Nameck, too.
(Free... uh, Mr. Green is led away by a local police officer who just happened to show up.)
Well, umm, that looks like all the time we have for today. Join us next installment as we look at the inner life of Cell.
Whooee! That got the ol' ticker goin', I tell you what.
© 1999 Pamela Sawyer, trunksette@juno.com
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