|
|
And now Pam and Kim tackle the question,
Why the crud do they all wear wristbands?
Agent Pam:
You've seen 'em on Goku...
Agent Kim:
You've senn 'em on Gohan...
Agent Pam:
Heck, you've even seen a variation of 'em on Piccolo...
Agent Kim:
But the question remains why. Why the crud does every good guy in DBZ wear something that covers his wrists?
Agent Pam:
Immediately our thoughts turned dark. Perhaps they were all suicidal and at one time had tried to take their own lives by slitting their wrists, and now they wanted to hide the scars from their tragic past.
Agent Kim:
*giving Pam a weird look* Maybe we should be asking what the crud you're smoking, instead.
Agent Pam:
Er... I mean, uh... maybe they just... like stuff... on their wrists?
Agent Kim:
Hey! No fair taking my explanation. *pout* Well anyway, since we couldn't seem to agree on an answer, we figured we'd actually have to do some research on this one.
Agent Pam:
*sigh* I know. Since we'd already bothered Goku, Vegeta, and their families in previous Z-files, we decided to go bug Kulilin instead. Besides, he was safer.
Agent Kim:
That didn't work since we couldn't find out where the midget was living, so we went to find Tenshinhan and Chou-zu.
Agent Pam:
Same problem as before. And the same with everyone else on our list except one... Piccolo.
Agent Kim:
After making out our last wills and testaments, we tracked the Nameck to his most recent abode: floating above a waterfall. Which one? Doesn't matter. He actually visits all of them on a daily basis, so all we had to do is wait.
Agent Pam:
And it's a good thing we watched DBZ movie 4 to pass the time, because when Piccolo showed up, we knew his weakness.
Agent Kim:
*nods* We both burst into a rousing whistle rendition of "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandee," and in moments, the Nameck was at our mercy.
Agent Pam:
*soundly whaps everyone out there who is at this moment thinking hentai thoughts*
Agent Kim:
Thank you, Pam-chan.
Agent Pam:
No problem. So, not wanting to waste any time, we immediately asked Piccolo what was up with the wrist coverings.
Agent Kim:
He was reluctant to answer, but after the third whistled verse of "The Rainbow Connection," Piccolo agreed to talk. And, since I managed to fix my tape player by getting new batteries (no clue where the old ones went...) here it is, word-for-word: *pushes play*
Piccolo:
Th-the truth is... every single one of us.... has weak wrists. We need the wristbands, gloves, and various other coverings just to keep the arthritis in check. I mean, it can take a lot out of a warrior's wrists punching bad guys, punching rocks to train, punching each other, punching anything that looks like it's maybe going to move sometime in the next 100 years or so... If it weren't for the wristbands, we would have had to give up warrior-ing years ago. *Kim pushes stop*
Agent Pam:
We were stunned, too. Only things that looked like they might move in the next 100 years? I would have given it 5,000 at the very least.
Agent Kim:
You're being generous. 10,000, definitely. Anyway, you wondered why they wore wristbands, and now you know.
Agent Pam:
*resists the urge and fails miserably* And knowing is half the battle!
Narrator:
*sweatdrop* She really couldn't resist, could she. Well, join us next time when we answer the question: Why exactly is Chou-zu, anyway? ...And you know, if knowing is half the battle, what's the other half?
Agent Pam:
Why, using that knowledge to beat your opponent mercilessly into the ground, of course.
Agent Kim:
Either that or using it to blackmail your opponent and keep things from ever coming to a battle in the first place.
Narrator:
Huh. Well I guess now I know.... uh-oh......
Agents Kim and Pam:
And knowing is half the battle!
Narrator:
....*sigh*....
Do you have a mystery of the DBZ universe you want solved? Tell Pam about it, and it may just become a Z-file!
© 2001, Pam Sawyer